Frustrated and Annoyed

You ever feel SO annoyed that you literally just want to scream? I know you have. That feeling that whoever talks to you (your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, kids), you just want to freak out at them for NO APPARENT reason? I don’t know why, but the past few days I felt like this. Like I had no control over my mind or the shit that came out of my mouth. And let me tell you, for the longest time I was good! I meditated, I was chirpy, I was positive, and I was someone that I am not today and it pisses me off. What changed? The ‘outside’ factors in my life did, and they seemed to have affected me greatly. When my boys went back to school this September after being homeschooled for a year, because you know, Cvid, I lost my morning time I usually had to myself. I think that this time is super important for mentality sake and to function at your optimal supermom level.

I now have to get up at 5:30 every morning and get them both ready for school. This includes breakfast, lunches, making sure they got their stuff together. You know, the standard. Then my one son goes to school and half hour later I have to get my daughter up so I can take my oldest to school. And there ya have it, zero time to work on my business, create content for my future clients, and to just have that ‘me’ time, even if it is only 30 minutes. I know this is my life and I’m not complaining, I love my life and everything about it, but sometimes we just have these moments and feelings that arise and need to be dealt with.

Because we follow mostly whole foods eating in my house, I literally spend each day making SOMETHING. Whether it’s making more sauerkraut, ‘crispy’ chicken to freeze, burgers, meatballs, prepping dinner, making yogurt, or whatever it may be, I am in the kitchen for what feels like hours. And to make things more difficult for myself, I don’t allow my daughter on the ipad after breakfast because I just don’t want her to be in the screen more than she needs to be. And because I don’t let her on it, she is always by my side in the kitchen trying to play with me. I love her so much and want to give her that time but there is always SO much stuff to be done. So I usually drop what I’m doing and play with her for a few. And sometimes I just give into the ipad or tv. Sometimes ya just gotta do what you need to get through without ripping your hair out.

Today though, I literally got up at 7:30 am. I SLEPT IN! LOL. And because I allowed myself to sleep in, I was in the kitchen from 7:45 am until 11:00 a.m. making breakfast for all the kids (and because each of them eat different things, this took twice as long, cleaning the kitchen sink (a pet peeve if messy), and prepping dinner. Finally sat down on my laptop to work and I decided to share this with you, mainly because I know you can relate, and maybe it can be helpful to you. Am I wrong? Being a mom is the most rewarding job, but it can also be the hardest and most stressful. We all do the best we can and let me tell you, it’s definitely enough.

I HATE BEING ANNOYED AND FRUSTRATED. It’s the worst because I feel like someone else has taken over and it sucks!

Sometimes I have no control over life situations that arise and I have to go along with it. Life is life. Sometimes there’s blah days, sometimes there are days when you want to rip your hair out and call it quits, and then there are amazing days. And those are the days that make it all worth it. I have to realize that these crazy times are only for a minute. It’s super hard though at times when you’re in the moment of that frustration. So lesson here for me and for anyone is to stand there with the feeling, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Maybe play some music you like too. It did help me this time and hopefully when you find yourself in this same frustrated situation, you will try the same.

Now it’s lunch time and ‘crazy’ house is on. Til next time 🙂

~ Agnieszka